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A comedy-spoof-magical adventure

fracturing for fun the conventions

of the classic melodrama!


Coming to Woodland WA’s Love Street Theater


May 3rd to 19th, 2013



Tickets go on sale right here April 15th!


The perfect family theater outing, “A Magical Melodrama” was a big hit in all of it’s previous presentations and now you can create a family-friendly event that will give you “memories that will last a lifetime!” Clean enough for kids, clever enough for adults, bring everyone to this hilarious spoof and

“laugh ‘til your cheeks hurt!”







~ Our Recent Hilarious Production of “twi-lite” was a BIG HIT 
and our most successful production to date! ~


Our previous productions…


Fantastic News! “twi-lite” had its world-premiere in Woodland, WA in September 2011 and became our most successful production to date. Over half of the nine performances were SOLD OUT and people came back again and again to
“laugh ‘til their cheeks hurt!” It was then presented in San Diego California in September 2012 to audience and critical acclaim.





A musical-comedy-spoof-melodrama

fracturing for fun the popular cultural

icons “Harry Potter” and “High School Musical”


Imagine the musical kids of “High School Musical” cross-pollinating with the magical cast of “Harry Potter” and that’s what “Potter School Musical” is…a hilarious hodge-podge of magical-musical merriment and mayhem.


 “Laugh ‘til your cheeks hurt” as the boy wizard “Perry Hotter” attempts to save Hagworts and get the girl, Gabby-Ella, by starring in the all-school musical! Can the sorcerer sing and dance? Will Perry succeed or will he crash and burn? Will Ron Weasel get his “Digditch” team to play basketball or will he crash and burn? Will the evil Volvo-Mart jinx the musical and close down Hagworts or will he crash and burn? Will Hermini outsmart Gaby-Ella and win the Scholastic Tournament or will she crash and burn? All these questions and more are answered in our clean family comedy musical extravaganza…Potter School Musical!
Don’t Miss It!






Potter School Musical & A Magical Melodrama returned for nine performances at The Venetian Theatre in Hillsboro, OR in May 2010 and broke all of our previous attendance records! In fact, our previous all-time attendance record was doubled! Add that to our SOLD OUT Performances in April 2009 in Downtown Vancouver, WA and The Golden Garter Family Comedy Theatre is taking the Pacific Northwest by storm
(like the storms needed any help!).



Our “Magical” Melodrama
– OR – Is A Dead Magician Really An “Abra-Cadaver”?


Breaking Attendance Records from 2008-2010! Spend an evening of fun-filled villainy “booing” the villain and “cheering” the hero! Bring the whole family and create a vacation memory that will last a lifetime. Appropriate for everyone from ages 4 to 104, A Magical Melodrama at The Golden Garter Theatre will make you to “laugh ‘til your cheeks hurt.” The Pacific Northwest’s newest “old” theatre will take you back in time to the edge of the wild frontier, 1908, and let you experience the most popular entertainment of the time; the melodrama – with a twenty-first century spin on it of course!
      The “melodrama” is a live comedy stage play where good always triumphs, true love is always mutual and evil is always vanquished (politely, of course!). What makes melodrama such fun theater is the improvised participation of you, the audience. As a melodrama audience, you get to “boo” the villain, “cheer
the hero and “sigh” at the beautiful ingénue. Actors will even step away from the action to speak “asides” to you and for once, you’ll be encouraged to talk back! You won’t see any “quiet” signs at our theater, because every one of our patrons is encouraged to become a participant. Go ahead, offer advice to our actors, warn them of impending doom, and even express your feelings! PLUS, unlike anywhere else, our melodrama has a magic-theme, so not only will your funny bone be tickled, your eyes will “pop” out of their sockets at the amazing and mystifying effects (see below)! You won’t believe what you’re witnessing only a few short feet away. An evening at The Golden Garter will take your breath away! (Don’t worry, all confiscated breaths will be returned prior to anyone returning home).


Following intermission, you’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you’ll roll on your belly like a reptile…at the comedy hijinks of our old-fashioned “Olio.” Our wonderful cast returns to make sure your evening ends on a high note as they sing, dance, do magic and turn the show over to you, the audience! A much shorter version of our full evening “Magic, Music & Merriment Revue” (see below), our Olio features the individual talents of the same cast you came to love during our melodrama! Come for the “boos” and “hisses” and stay for the light-hearted laughs!


On performance evenings, our pre-show begins with an age-old tradition called the “Sing-Along,” so start warming up your voice now. Our handsome and trustworthy MC will lead you in recreating the songs popular at the turn of last century (Beware: Anyone caught not singing will be made to sweep the theatre floors after the show). During your first hour, our GGVAP will sink you neck deep into our comedy drama, “A Magical Melodrama – Or – Is a Dead Magician an Abra-cadaver?” Then, in order to give your sides a rest from laughing for a spell, you’ll enjoy a short intermission where you can enjoy the best popcorn in the Pacific Northwest! And you can even wet your whistle with some old fashioned Sasparilla: A drink that will make your baby beautiful and even put hair on your chest! Or possibly just put hair on your baby’s chest!


Still can’t picture it? Click on the below picture to watch a highlight video of
A Magical Melodrama
(Warning: you may catch yourself laughing out loud!)




Check out this page of pictures taken by our guests for a “preview of coming attractions.” FOR PICTURES, CLICK HERE



Meet our collection of talented cast members, CLICK HERE



The Magic, Music & Merriment Revue –


GOOD NEWS! Our “Magic, Music & Merriment Revue” was a big hit at its recent encore run. Check back here for future performance dates!


This comedy, music and magic revue is guaranteed to make you “laugh ‘til your cheeks hurt!” Our Great Gorge Variety Arts Players take the stage for a hilarious live vaudeville-style comedy variety show. You’ll witness sensational songs, veracious ventriloquism, marvelous magic, calamitous comedy, delightful dance and humor “so clean” you can grill a ham-bone on it! And grill you will, because the best news of all is that you, the audience, once again becomes the star of the show! More than one unsuspecting attendee will be asked up on the stage and everyone present will witness the birth of vaudeville’s newest star…You! Since every show depends so heavily on audience participation, every show becomes different because every audience is different. So, we hope you’ll come back and give us the honor of your presence and participation time and time again. We can’t do The Golden Garter without you…and performing for an empty theater is no fun whatsoever…so we hope to see you again and again!







     Our parents wouldn’t have it any other way! At The Golden Garter, we pick up after ourselves, say grace before meals and tip our hats to ladies! We don’t put up with any of that cursin’, cussin’ or spittin’! You can trust we’re a “class” act, genteel and refined too. So, don’t come alone (unless you have no choice). Bring the whole family! Kids, teens, parents and grandparents all LOVE the zany antics of “A Magical Melodrama.”


      So, don’t delay, get your tickets today. A Magical Melodrama at The Golden Garter has been known to sell-out a show or two, so don’t be left in the dust, don’t end up high and dry, don’t miss the “Show” Boat, and “don’t wait ‘til the sun shines, Nellie”!, write or call to reserve your seats in our historically-hysterical evening of comedy immediately (that means right now, today! Why are you still reading this? Stop and pick up the phone…that’s what it’s there for! You won’t be sorry you did. There, now don’t you feel better?) The Golden Garter will become the highlight of your vacation, I guarantee it, or my name isn’t Phineas T. Pendergast! (Come to think of it, my name isn’t Phineas T. Pendergast! But come anyway, you know you want to! That’s Phineas T. on the right).

      The Golden Garter Theatre’s next location and dates are announced on our “Schedule” page (see exact dates that aren’t sold out on our “Schedule” page). So, all you have to do is buy your tickets and show up – doors open 30 minutes prior to each performance! (But warm up your funny bone before you come – we don’t want you to strain anything!) We’ll do our job by making sure you leave the evening looking younger, feeling lighter, lifting your IQ and even going home in a more stylish & valuable horse and buggy! (not really).





“I laughed ‘til my cheeks hurt!”
Sue Coates, Battle Ground, WA

(notice Sue didn’t tell us which cheeks!)


“What a blessing it was to have clean, fun humor…it was a hoot!”
– Al & Tori Schmidhamer,
Vancouver, WA


“My friends and I had a terrific time with all of you…it was like we were at a party!! It was the end of a fun

 weekend. Thanks again for the great laughs.”

-Louise Elliott, San Jose, CA




“…simply good, clean fun…the whole family will enjoy the magic and vaudeville atmosphere.”

-Jack & Marge Mace, Brush Prairie, WA


“For months we’ve been traveling throughout the United States, and we can easily say that your show
 was the highlight of our trip!”

Maria Vicinaiz, Brownsville, TX


“Thank you for a delightful show!!! We laughed uncontrollably all the way home and found ourselves cracking up over it days after! In fact, months later we still refer to that night as one of our most enjoyable outings. Your show has a wonderful combination of music, magic and comedy. Great for all ages. Your ‘dummy’ skit was our favorite and extra funny knowing the ‘dummy’ under the mask!! It was fun meeting you all after the show!! Thanks again for a most memorable experience.” -Sandy & Nelson Melo, Vancouver, WA 


“I loved the show because of its’ wholesome humor. I would definitely recommend the show, it was a great evening of entertainment.” –Gary Boe, Vancouver, WA


“I found myself watching my grandson (age 6) laughing so hard that I thought he was going to fall off his chair! Then I noticed my son sitting next to me laughing so hard at his son that I just couldn’t stop laughing at them laughing so hard! There we were, three generations having good clean fun; total hilarity and total enjoyment...does it get any better than that?  I couldn't have had a better evening!”  -Mary Lou Nordstrom, Troutdale, OR


“I really enjoyed the show. It was a great evening of entertainment. The ‘human ventriloquist dummy’ was a real hoot. It takes a lot of talent to pull off a show like this and they did it with apparent ease. Thank you.”

-Al Slavich, Battle Ground, WA


“It was fantastic! My kids loved interacting with the cast,

and the actors had a blast playing with the audience. It was a terrific show. If you are looking for a family-friendly

activity, head to The Golden Garter.”

-Melissa Bickle, Hood River, OR


“…bring the kids… wholesome humor built for a family audience and getting everyone to laugh together…tickling intended to get people all laughing simultaneously…”

-The Columbian Newspaper, Vancouver, WA


“…hysterical! Thanks for an evening of much laughter.”

-Delcine Mesa-Johnson, Battle Ground, WA


“We had a wonderful time! The show at the Golden Garter was a hoot! It was both entertaining and hilarious and never let up. They have a real touch for drawing from the crowd and keeping everyone engaged!” –Warren Rust, Ridgefield, WA


“Wholesome entertainment for the entire family, well worth
the drive…I’m an old grouch and they made me laugh!”

Jon Couture, Hockinson, WA


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